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Enjoy this collection of seven short stories and just be happy. Life is too short to worry about stupid things, so have fun and keep smiling!
1. Pay attention!
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, “Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?”
Little Johnny quickly replied, “NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!”
2. Google
I am often asked, “Is google a man or a women?”
My simple answer is: It’s a woman because it won’t let you finish your sentence without making a suggestion.
3. Aren’t you on my side?
Teacher: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do?
Christy: I’d climb a tree.
Teacher: if the lion climbs a tree?
Christy: I will jump in the lake and swim.
Teacher: if the lion also jumps in the water and swims after you?
Christy: Teacher, are you on my side or on the lion’s?
4. Chemistry
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?
A: Never lick the spoon!
5. New job!
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.” “But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom – I’ll show you how.”
6. Save drift
The man was looking for a way, over and over, for his wife so she can drive more carefully and he found it;
“Darling, if an accident happens, the police will record your real age!”
7. School sign
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Student: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”
